Bink the Stink

Yesterday I took Binki (AKA Moose) to the vet for her first appointment since moving to STL. This particular vet clinic is open 7 days a week, 20 hours a day. Which is great for me, taking her on a Saturday afternoon.

We got in the car, and she chose to ride in the front seat. She pants when she gets excited or nervous, and she had not traveled anywhere since the car trip moving up here. So she was panting. A lot.

If you don't have a dog, or have never had an old dog, you may not understand the following: she has deadly bad breath. OK, I admit it, I don't brush my dog's teeth regularly. I call it breath o' death. But with the panting, she soon filled up the car with her terribly bad breath. Luckily for me, the vet is only 3 miles away, so I didn't have to endure the smell too long.

When we got into the exam room, the tech told me about all their exam packages. For about $60, you could get the rabies shot and just a general exam. The prices went up from there. She petted and played with Moose for a minute and ooh-ed and aah-ed, then went in for the "you know that she IS nearly 13, and with the extended exam, we can do tests to make sure that she is healthy. She doesn't have much time left."

Of course, I fell for it and $150 later, we were leaving the vet. Moose had her nails clipped, blood drawn, eyes examined, and joints manipulated. I was given a tiny plastic bag and cup (looks like a condiment cup) to collect further samples. I am going to assume you know what those are.

Since we live in a rental community and don't have a yard, I'm used to walking her and cleaning up after her. That's not a problem. The problem is getting the urine sample. How, exactly, am I supposed to do that? Especially with the tiny condiment cup. And I don't really want to carry the samples around, so do I just drop them off when she's done?

We've tried to get a urine sample from her once before, when we thought she was ill. We were at the vet's office though, and the tech and I took her outside for a walk, hoping to get said sample. The vet had a much nicer collection device that didn't entail squatting down and hoping that Moose can hit the 1" diameter receptacle. The vet's was larger, almost like a bedpan. But every time Moose squatted, the tech positioned the pan, which caused Moose to immediately stand up and look at us like, "What are you trying to do? Can't a girl go without interference?" And we never got the sample.

Anyway, the vet said everything looked good with our dog, who, by the way, is 74 in dog years according to the vet's chart. We're still waiting on the blood results and should hear about those soon. On the way out, the vet said, "After the blood work comes back, you should think about having her teeth cleaned." Which I think is a nice way of saying that Binki's breath could peel paint off walls.