Gloom, despair, agony . . .

Only two days to the bar exam. My mood swings wildly between confidence that I've already done this once and passed; terror that I'll fail this time; anxiety over having a question that I haven't studied for at all. Also add gloom, despair and agony.

I had yet another flavor of anxiety dream last night: I dreamed I was going to a funeral for a very distant relative that I didn't know. There were hundreds of people trying to go to this funeral, too, and we had to take busses there. I kept getting separated from Chris and ended up going the wrong way and continually missing the bus. Chris made it to the funeral and was text messaging me to find out where I was. At one point, I was standing outside on a wire floor that resembled chicken coop wire, several stories in the air with no walls and no support below the wire. I thought, "I shouldn't be here." And I turned around and left. I never made it to the funeral. My dream was interrupted by a two-year old and his new best friend, Elmo.

We found Elmo at Build-a-Bear and the lady told us that Elmo would be retiring soon and would not be available. With Matthew's birthday coming up, Brandon and I took him on Saturday to Build-a-Bear. It was really neat. I want to go back and get a teddy bear. But maybe that's just my insecurity about the bar exam talking. Anyway, you pick out a bear (or Elmo) and you add sound, stuffing and clothes and the kids get to pick everything out and help build the bear (or Elmo). Elmo actually got stuffed, sewn and dressed by Brandon (who was assisting Matthew). Then you get a cute birth certificate and cardboard 'house' to take Elmo home in. Our Elmo has an Elmo sound chip (of course), Elmo shirt and cargo shorts. Matthew removed the shorts and Elmo has been pantless ever since.