My Babies' Daddy

I was just picking up some medicine at the local pharmacy when I was actually asked this question by the pharmacist: Are both your boys from the same father?

I have never been asked that question before. I answered yes, they are, and they look just like their father. But then got the feeling that he was just trying to see if I might be available, or maybe . . . easy? I don't know, but it was a strange, awkward conversation.

I know that it is becoming increasingly normal for mothers to have children by different men, but no one had ever bothered to address the paternity of my children with me. (Except Chris, on occassion, when one of the children does something incredibly dumb. Of course, I gently reassure him both the boys are 100% his, and besides, there's no point in contesting paternity since both boys look just like his childhood pictures.)

When I was working in the District Attorney's office, I handled the juvenile dockets. It was very common on these dockets for a mother to be raising three or four children from three or four different men. A common phrase used in court was "my baby's daddy" -- a phrase used to name the father of the child, and most likely used by the mother to denote that she was not in any way married to, dating, connected with, receiving child support from or even remotely interested in the man who fathered the child. Because if there was a relationship there, she would call the man her husband/boyfriend/fiance'/ex-husband/ex-boyfriend/ex-fiance', etc. It was used so often that I joked with the judge that I was going to start calling Chris "my babies' daddy." The judge thought that was funny.

So I told the pharmacist that, indeed, both boys had the same father. (I refrained from calling him my babies' daddy.) The pharmacist then inquired about me having a third child so I could have a daughter, because you know, women like to have daughters. I told him thanks, but two was enough and quickly left the counter. It was a very weird experience overall.