Feeling Mischievous

An attorney friend of mine has a fancy website where you can contact him by filling out a form and even submitting your particular legal problem. I am SO tempted to start emailing (under a false name, of course) weird and exotic legal problems for him to solve.

But I think he'll know it's me.

Hi, my name is Bill. Is it a DUI when you're pulled over by a cop while smoking crack? 'Cause they can't test for that stuff on the breath-a-lyzer.

Hi, my name is Bill. I was late for my last court date, but I told the judge that I was in the hospital for a hysterectomy or something. Now my old lawyer won't represent me and I think I left my baggy of meth on the bench in the courtroom. Should I go back and check?

Hi, my name is Bill. I was stopped by a police officer who just wanted to tell me I was driving with my duffel bag on the roof of the car. The problem was, I left my gun and my weed in the duffel bag and when the cop came up to my window to tell me the bag was on the roof, he saw the weed and the gun and now I'm in big trouble. He didn't have probable cause to stop me! Help!

Hi, my name is Bill. I fell asleep in my recliner with my apartment door open and the landlady came by to talk to me. The thing is, she couldn't wake me up, so she called 911. When the medics came, they saw a few bricks of pot, scales, wrappers and baggies which were left beside my recliner and they called the police. They're not mine! Honest! I don't know how they got there. I think my landlady wants to evict me 'cause I have this cat that attacked her one time and she planted everything!