Embarrassment At the Grocery Store

Matthew and I went grocery shopping today. After winding the cart through the store and repeating, "No, Matthew. Don't do that, Matthew" 50 billion times, we arrived at the check out. I unloaded the groceries from the cart onto the conveyor belt while trying to keep Matthew out of the candy. Not an easy feat.

At last, the cart had been unloaded, the checker was scanning our groceries and Matthew was away from the candy. It seemed like I had a clear shot to get out of the store without further irritation. As we were waiting for the old debit card to clear, the checker handed Matthew a green, square sticker that the store uses to mark big items as "paid." He was delighted. The checker engaged me in small talk about all the school supplies I had just bought, then the computer approved my transaction. I took the receipt from the checker, turned to Matthew (who was sitting in the cart) and discovered . . . he had placed the green, square sticker just below his nose . . . like a Hitler moustache. I ripped it off of his upper lip and stuck it on his forehead, hoping no one had noticed and hastily left the store.

I expected motherhood to have its share of embarrassing, irritating moments, but I never expected a Hitler moustache.